artistic statement of sorts

Since I began considering performance as a career, I have repeatedly heard that classical music is dying. I believe that this is not an unfounded fear, and I believe that individual artists and arts organizations can only address some of the reasons behind this fear. One of the things we can address, however, is that the majority of the music we are performing does not represent the audiences we are trying to attract. So much of what we perform was written by white European men who lived, in some cases, hundreds of years ago; why are we surprised that our audiences are mostly elderly and mostly white?

The fact is that there is music written before 1950 by composers who were not white men, and the fact is that a lot of it is really good music. On a personal level, I consider it unethical to be an artist without engaging with the work of these composers and without encouraging and supporting living composers who are part of marginalized groups. This is not to say that I want to program with identity as the central focus, because that’s also problematic, but that I want to tell stories that are interesting and varied and that invite listeners to do more than sit in seats and buy drinks at intermission. (Of course, they can also sit in seats and buy drinks at intermission!) I don’t want to force any piece or composer or concert experience on anyone; rather, I want to provide options. I believe that art is communication, and if we only tell the same stories we’ve always told, we are not communicating.

Musicians often get tripped up when asked to define what music is. I don’t think it’s my job to do that. I think that many things, including art, are defined and bounded by collective thought processes, and an individual’s role within that is to engage critically with the definitions and boundaries; I think it’s my job to present you with some things that some people call music and let you decide what you think it is and how you feel about it. Similarly, I don’t think framing any kind of art as good or bad is helpful, especially because so much of what we think of as “good art” was written by dead white European dudes. If you’re not convinced by this, I’d like to ask you the following questions: why does art have to be “good” to be valid and/or respected and/or worthy of performance? What is “good art”, anyway? Who decides that? When we make those decisions, are we acknowledging our biases that result from the entire system of Western music having been based on patriarchal, white supremacist norms? Does acknowledging those biases do anything if we’re not working to dismantle the systems that create and perpetuate them?

Addendum, July 2021: I think it's clear from the above that I am a very passionate person. That passion does not always mesh very well with the current structure of the music performing industry. In addition, I have realised that I am the kind of person who needs some kind of external structure in their work. The kind of work I want to do as a cellist does not exist, and I as a disabled person do not currently have the capacity to bring it into existence.

I will always be a cellist. However, I cannot be happy trying to make a living from playing the cello. It is not a failure to acknowledge this. It is, in fact, one of the most honest things I have ever done.